mY JouRnaL: ROuGh + kINkY + SchiZoPHonIc

today morning wake up so meaninglessly. hoping new day would be come tru and there's hope for hapiness. something did happened and yes, multiple compliments sent from customer. i sort of happy what is the outcome, at least people know that i can be as good as i sound. the new system that citibank presented this morning kinda suck actually. but at least by the end of days, u got another compliment. what a great day. but promise me, that all of that come with a price. someday i have to pay for that. but let enjoy those moment while we there as tomorrow who might know that "there's no longer tomorrow".

about my love life, i felt like breaking up with him or not to fall in love with him kinda sad. i have friend that i can shoulder on. i felt kinda relief. it sou d kinda odd, but i had a little or tiny crush on my boss. he's so kind with me. i hope he can talk and smile with me. har har har... i put so much hope. but there's nothing wrong to put some or little dream in this tiny heart of mine. maybe...it just maybe that he is the one. he's cute...saurabh, i think i like u. i like faidzal, he smell so nice. that's it. i like norman and adam, he's like plumpy kinda guy that i like. i dont like skinny. i like wan from IT technician, and his friend. not the tallest one and skinny. but the one that have a warm smile that make me smile a little bit more and make my day.

but one person that make me happy everytime, guess who? of coz he's saurabh. his loving face and cute and cuddly smile never fail me to make me smile. but the one that i did missed a lot is hubby Azlan, though he kinda rough on me, but he is an ideal man for me. i like him from top to toe. the sweet scene that cover his body and his word care about me, but that's no longer matter. i hope he find peace at heart after coming back from mecca. he did said to me once he got back

"i hope u understand that i just got back from mecca"

i know that what he meant is, i don't wanna do this anymore and we can stop seeing each other again

the sad thing is that i really like him, the worst part is i had given everythin' , body soul and money. i dont know i and actually care about "body" part, money he's so absolutely going to refund to me. my "soul" is broken into pieces and no longer be healed and i so so so sad...to sad leaving him.

nevertheless, i hope tomorrow morning will be clearer and much brighter than ever. my heart is opened again but sadly will never forget about him. i love him that much. i can stand him or him fooling around with another girl or woman, but i really can't stand him if he's fooling around with another man.

dear journal, i think i know what i'm gonna do next. i will start take all the opportunity in this world and having fun in my own way and there's no one will tell me what i do or what will went wrong. i will be a happy person all over again.

thank you for a hard listening and sometimes history will repeat itself and that's makes me grow stronger and become more human

thanks and regards

Loveless

"part that u think u love him the most is part that where u letting him go"

++++ movie review ++++

today we look at "monster Vs Alien", this hillarius movie is soooodamn funny, all the sadness and sorrow cured if u watch this movie. i love part when bob said "suuuusaaannn!!!, ooohh...i scared myself" hehehehe and bob is my character of the day. i love being bob, though clueless but he love and enjoy being "bob"