mISsiNG + mOVeRs + GaiNInG

wake up around 10 a.m and have a DVD marathon and i was thinking or have you all ever thinking about future that something is changing, have u ever stared at window and what u gonna do or what u gonna be in future. 

me myself have believe in heart that something gonna be happening to me in very near future. but for now, here's 2 thing in my mind that kept bugging me since this morning. 

1) my future

2) my love life

my future is in form of randomness, i start studying biology( i never like this subject though) in high school. and have opportunity to study in matriculation in perak, major in physics. my field is much clearer now, then i forward myself studying in university here in jb, Universiti teknologi malaysia, skudai. majoring in industry focusing in math field and i am so good in algebraic and modern algebraic. 

someday long time ago, i was in my dorm stared and window and wondering that what lies ahead. and now i'm working in banking line, citibank singapore. what a chaos life line, but i believe this is the course that god wanted me to follow. have u ever wonder on hill, mountain, waterfall, window, in bed before u close ur eyes to sleep, i believe u did right. and trust me. if u put hardship and passion toward that dream. everything gonna be come tru. do u know what i dream right now? 

i dream in having a lovable life partner and success in career. oh yes i know this might take times. i just dont care. forget everything that blocking ur way, make ur own way. i will find that path and shared every drop of my success with my love one. owh yes, the music i listen right now "bitter sweet symphony" by the verve. kinda cool. let me share with you.

after wake up, i start planning my day, first wash cloth that have been pile up for a week. it save much electricity rather than wash everyday and waste so much water. just wash once every week. after that make some cold nescafe + jemput-jemput onion and anchovy. watch 3 DVD marathon

1) yes man

2) house of bunny

3) fired up

nice movie!!! especially house of bunny, changing those nerd and geek girl into super-hot ladies. best quote in this movie so far i can remember

" your eyes is a nipple of your face, so make it beautiful"

so cocky and deliciously marvellous, owh yeah almost forgot yesterday saturday, i let myself to watch a movie called "17 again" play by zach Efron ( do i spell it correctly?? owh whatever), the thing is...he is soooo HOT and the body so f**king HOT and yes, allow me to lick it, too bad i was so into older guy. now i'm routing to catch ice age 3: the meltdown

tomorrow is monday, the busiest day in citibank, i just hate it. monday just giving me migrain every single week. but i think i know on how make it interesting.

my love on the other hand so much troublesome, the good thing of being single is u can do whatever u wanted, but sometimes when u pass one moment of loneliness, i felt like no one was there for me.

 i think u never understand what i am thinking. u all have a great life, as i try to forget him by make myself busy doing housework and much other thing, deep inside is so much hurt. but looking at my love history, i am so bad luck of finding love. maybe i am never able to find love at the first place. this is the curse i believe. let's talk about other thing. 

i bought a perfume called Hugo "energise", last month i bought Sean John "Unforgivable". i like the one that bought last month. smell so intense and kinda hot if u put it in small portion, hugo is a perfume that i always bought. next month i'm gonna buy "wood". smell so earthy and felt like strong and macho guy...sort of. 

tomorrow i will snap some of my beloved colleague and i will put some comment of my friend picture. i have tons of friend in this department.i will show u guys which one is friend, which one is foe, and which one is such phony, or which one is such a total bi**h. owh yes, i love giving comment to my friend's picture

let's wait. LOVE YOU

"Let's embrace every moment that u have right NOW as there's no more tomorrow"

ROuGh + kINkY + SchiZoPHonIc

today morning wake up so meaninglessly. hoping new day would be come tru and there's hope for hapiness. something did happened and yes, multiple compliments sent from customer. i sort of happy what is the outcome, at least people know that i can be as good as i sound. the new system that citibank presented this morning kinda suck actually. but at least by the end of days, u got another compliment. what a great day. but promise me, that all of that come with a price. someday i have to pay for that. but let enjoy those moment while we there as tomorrow who might know that "there's no longer tomorrow". 

about my love life, i felt like breaking up with him or not to fall in love with him kinda sad. i have friend that i can shoulder on. i felt kinda relief. it sou d kinda odd, but i had a little or tiny crush on my boss. he's so kind with me. i hope he can talk and smile with me. har har har... i put so much hope. but there's nothing wrong to put some or little dream in this tiny heart of mine. maybe...it just maybe that he is the one. he's cute...saurabh, i think i like u. i like faidzal, he smell so nice. that's it. i like norman and adam, he's like plumpy kinda guy that i like. i dont like skinny. i like wan from IT technician, and his friend. not the tallest one and skinny. but the one that have a warm smile that make me smile a little bit more and make my day. 

but one person that make me happy everytime, guess who? of coz he's saurabh. his loving face and cute and cuddly smile never fail me to make me smile. but the one that i did missed a lot is hubby Azlan, though he kinda rough on me, but he is an ideal man for me. i like him from top to toe. the sweet scene that cover his body and his word care about me, but that's no longer matter. i hope he find peace at heart after coming back from mecca. he did said to me once he got back

"i hope u understand that i just got back from mecca"

i know that what he meant is, i don't wanna do this anymore and we can stop seeing each other again

the sad thing is that i really like him, the worst part is i had given everythin' , body soul and money. i dont know i and actually care about "body" part, money he's so absolutely going to refund to me. my "soul" is broken into pieces and no longer be healed and i so so so sad...to sad leaving him.

nevertheless, i hope tomorrow morning will be clearer and much brighter than ever. my heart is opened again but sadly will never forget about him. i love him that much. i can stand him or him fooling around with another girl or woman, but i really can't stand him if he's fooling around with another man.

dear journal, i think i know what i'm gonna do next. i will start take all the opportunity in this world and having fun in my own way and there's no one will tell me what i do or what will went wrong. i will be a happy person all over again.

thank you for a hard listening and sometimes history will repeat itself and that's makes me grow stronger and become more human

thanks and regards

Loveless

"part that u think u love him the most is part that where u letting him go"

++++ movie review ++++

today we look at "monster Vs Alien", this hillarius movie is soooodamn funny, all the sadness and sorrow cured if u watch this movie. i love part when bob said "suuuusaaannn!!!, ooohh...i scared myself" hehehehe and bob is my character of the day. i love being bob, though clueless but he love and enjoy being "bob"

allow me to list down all time ranking, best three my own top movie

1. Monster Vs Alien

2. Night at Museum 2

3. Angel and Demon

a must watched movie, yeah!!!!

++++ music review ++++

i kinda like a few song that i choose from my download from internet.

my top 5 favor

1. Robot from t.a.t.u

2. fly on the wall from miley cyrus 

3. hot and cold from katy perry

4. matahariku from agnes monica

5. Halo from Beyonce